Have you ever felt that you were channelling your mother? It doesn't happen all that often with me, but when it does I give myself a rather strong shake, since I recognise the tone as not my own!
Monday mornings I usually head into Piopio from Struan Farm to take our farmstay and household recycling and rubbish to the local dump. It's only open four half days per week, so some semblance of routine is required or the garage starts to take on a particular perfume (okay, stench), much as we compost and use the worm farm. (People from town are often surprised to learn that those of us in rural areas do not have curbside rubbish service, but in this area we definitely don't.)
I usually also stop for coffee and/or breakfast at our award winning local cafe, The Fat Pigeon. This particular week I sat near the door, and was struck by the fact that several people (coincidentally they were all men) who came in opened the door to enter but then didn't close it after themselves. Leaving those of us sitting inside to get quite chilly. Each time this happened I got up and closed the door.
But as I was doing this a voice in my head was saying "DO YOU THINK YOU LIVE IN A BARN? CLOSE THE DOOR!" This was not Karen, this was my mother, telling us kids to close the cellar door when we went outside to play. We usually didn't.
This prompted me to think about when else I channel my mother. I know when I screw up on anything I call myself "KAREN ANNE." Okay, yep, that's her. I otherwise don't use my middle name or even the first initial.
And then there are meal times with the grandkids, a testing time. I grew up in the era when you didn't leave the table unless you cleaned your plate, you ate what you were served, and you didn't get dessert if you hadn't eaten your meal. I remember chewing steak until it was white, heading to the toilet to flush a wad stuffed in my cheek down the loo, and slipping stuff to the dog underneath the table. Kids today are different. There are no power struggles since they make the rules, mostly have parents wrapped around their little fingers when it comes to food (at least in my view). They eat what they like and nothing else.
I've tried "no dessert if you don't eat your dinner," which is way softer than that strict maternal voice. I've asked them to try foods they haven't eaten before (largely vegetables), dishes I've slaved over after working outside all day in the garden. Foods that John and I eat regularly.
But as much as I'd like to say "EAT WHAT'S ON YOUR PLATE" that just doesn't happen. I now make things I know they like or try to make new foods "fun," involving them in the preparation if possible now that they are old enough for that, a strategic solution.
The bottom line here is that I am able to ignore the voice, even when I don't particularly agree that it should be turned down!
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