I found myself musing about slippery slopes the other day here at Struan Farm. There are so many of them in life, and there seem to be more presenting themselves as I get older. (Note: these slippery slopes do not relate to ethical issues or fundamental beliefs, I know where I stand on those.)
You will know I'm a pretty high energy person who cracks into things and gets them done. I'm organised and tidy. I'm interested in things and learning new things.
What worries me a wee bit is that I'm finding my standards are slipping somewhat on a number of fronts. Perhaps I'm slowing down and slightly more overwhelmed by the sheer volume of physical work and pace I insist of myself. But I look at towels not hung up properly on the towel racks, sloppily made beds, piles of ironing and dusty tables and shake my head in abject disgust. One night last week I woke John up with a nightmare about dust landing all over me. My subconscious crying out that I need to clean the house, perhaps. But it isn't just housekeeping, which I know we all try to avoid for as long as possible. I can rationalise that away even if I am disappointed in myself as an imperfect homemaker, if there is in fact a perfect one. And yes, the farmstay has been flat out, with the cleaning and laundry, etc. etc. that entails.
I've not weeded the flower gardens here at Struan Farm for some time due to the drought. It's bone dry and the soil is either dust or concrete. I tell myself I haven't deadheaded roses or dahlias, as well as other perennials, so they aren't stressed out trying to re-bloom. While there may be an element of truth to this, this is an obvious slippery slope, an attempt on my part to justify why I haven't been out there with head down and bum up in the stinking hot dry heat.
And then there's my personal upkeep, something we've touched on previously. Clifford got this groom recently but I am still outstanding. I'm onto that this week and hope I've found a more convenient option so that hands and feet don't look like something out of a horror movie. Thus reinforcing this slope that's been slipping since last October.
It may be that slopes get slippery when there are other things one would rather be doing with only so many hours in the day. Things other than the assigned tasks at hand. Things that matter and make us feel good and contributing members of society rather than those things that just have to get done.
Like picking other people's plums and apples to share with the community, perhaps? Okay yes. That would be one. Pickling jalapeños and making apple crumbles? Okay, yes, two more. Now you understand the nature of my problem. Am I too hard on myself? I guess that's the rhetorical question.
yes, but i think we cann be guilty of that and beat up on ourselves big time.
Posted by: Katherine Scott | 03/01/2020 at 03:11 PM